Waging a war against myself, for myself

May 12, 2014

fatpincherYou pinch my fat, I punch your face … .Ok, well maybe not. But that’s what I felt like saying the first time my new personal trainer told me she would be using the old school “grab your fat and pinch until you want to scream” pincher to get my body fat percentage. This is after she has already weighed me (in public!!) and measured me in a thousand different places. (She could at least take me out and buy me dinner first if she’s gonna get THAT personal, right?) I mean, she might as well ask me to strip naked and run through the gym at this point because that was about how exposed I felt. This was January. And while I fully understand that we needed to assess my starting off point to see my progress, this was about as mortifying as it could possibly get for me.

Also, if you remember my previous blog about breaking up with diet soda, I was also about two weeks into it at this time, so it was the “not pretty” point of withdrawal. I was cranky and irritable and seriously questioning my sanity at both joining a gym and hiring a personal trainer. I had decided to approach joining a gym and my desire to get healthy differently this time. Not so much as “weight loss” but literally getting stronger and healthier. I wanted to do it right this time and not necessarily diet, but make going to the gym and exercising part of my life. I wanted to make a lifestyle change, and make it stick.

I explained all of this to my new trainer, Adrienne … and she patiently listened. She seemed to instantly understand me. She “got” that I needed to do this slowly. First, she got me to come to the gym five days a week. Yes, you heard me. FIVE days a week. And I actually enjoy it! I miss it when I don’t go — it’s a friggin’ miracle!!

I slowly started adding group classes into my routine, which I now love. They keep me sane — and anything is easier when it’s done to music. I am actually sad when I miss them. I think Adrienne knew that if she “whammed” me with an intense gym routine coupled with a drastic diet, I would overload, implode and fail. So we moved slowly. Now, four months later, I am so much stronger than I was in January. I actually have biceps. Real, actual, you-can-see-them-when-I-flex muscles. Who knew??!! I still don’t love cardio, but I do love strength training.

This is where my next hurdle comes in. Even though my body fat and measurements are decreasing, I am actually gaining weight. Yeah, yeah, I know it is muscle, and muscle weighs more than fat … blah, blah, blah… but it’s a mental roadblock and it’s terribly frustrating. Unfortunately, the next thing I have to tackle is my diet. This makes me sad. I like to eat. More importantly, I like to eat bad shit. Don’t we all? Celery sucks. Chocolate is awesome. This is the root of my problem. Well, that and I don’t love to cook. I do love takeout, though. Again, a problem.

zumba2I am looking at this as a war, not a battle, and I have time to fight it. I still don’t love the fat pincher. I actually want to grab it out of her hand and break it, but I restrain myself and my newfound muscles. Mr. Fat Pincher and I have a date every 3 weeks. It’s inevitable and I can’t figure a way out of it, so I just have to deal with it.

Oh, and I have been doing Zumba! I have never seen SO MUCH sober ass-shaking in my life! It’s fantastic people watching … oh, and you burn a zillion calories! It’s a win-win!!



By admin

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