Why moving is one of life’s MOST traumatic experiences

February 7, 2015

My personal hell. Packing the kitchen.
My personal hell. Packing the kitchen.

Now that I have been through it, I can safely say there are many things I would rather do than move one mile with toddlers. Here are some examples: root canal with no drugs, public pelvic exam or give up vodka. Just kidding … I would never give up vodka. EVER!

Mr. Aggie and I have known for a while that we wanted more land. We didn’t love the feeling of being on top of our neighbors and wanted to be able to spread out a little. So we decided to “take a look” at a few houses. Let’s just say that five weeks later we were closing on our new house. BAM! That’s how the Texas market works these days, apparently.

So when you wake up one day and decide to sell your house, several things happen. First you have to get your own house ready to go on the market. Let’s talk about painful. I attempted to purge. No, not vomit, although there were many times I wanted to. I realized very quickly that we had WAY too much crap. I mean just CRAP! So …  I had a garage sale. But there was still so. much. crap!

I think I fooled everyone into thinking no one lives here.
I think I fooled everyone into thinking no one lives here.

So then I had to depersonalize our house. Really? I’m a photographer. Do you have any idea how many photographs there are in our home? It’s ridiculous. So I started boxing things and putting them into our garage. Soon the garage turned into a giant pile of boxes that we got to maneuver around daily. There was no more parking cars in there. Oh no. Just boxes. PS – I now hate the color brown. And the sound of packing tape. It’s like nails on a chalkboard.

I kept packing, and depersonalizing. Soon I realized that the actual goal was to make it look like no humans lived in our house. Nothing on our counters, nothing on our dressers, no visible toys …  sure no problem. My kids are 2 and 4 – they’re totally on board with this. Um …  NO! You take away the toys, you take away mommy’s sanity. It was bad.

Enter the morons. These are the people who come to visit my lovely home to see if they would like to buy it. These are the people who apparently expect it to sprout a fifth bedroom from the time the viewed it online until the time they walk in the door. Feedback: “We really wanted a fifth bedroom” Idiot, you knew it didn’t have one. Why did you even come look at it? These people are time-suckers. I do not like them.

Decision-making hell.

So we close on our new house. Awesome! Love it! I deploy my painter to get over there and make it “ours” …  AKA remove the fugly murals the previous owner painted in all the bathrooms! Mr. Aggie and I decide to rent a U-Haul and take over some of the kids big toys and garage stuff so the movers don’t have to mess with it. It was a good plan and actually saved a lot of time. The kids had a blast. (Note: they were darn cute, but helpful, they were not. Mr. Aggie and I spent much time making sure they didn’t fall out of the back of the truck. It was counterproductive to say the least.)

The day before we actually moved, the movers called saying that they actually needed to send two crews. Um, ok. The company was disorganized to say the least and I now question the reviews I have read about them. Baffling as it may be to me, six grown men who move people for a living, actually managed to leave quite a few things behind at the old house. So much, that they company had to send a third crew the next day to get it all.

We HATE cardboard brown almost as much as we hate unpacking.

One mile. We moved one mile. It might as well have been 10,000. The amount of boxes at the new house was staggering. Life has a way of getting in the way of these extra tasks such as unpacking hundreds of boxes. These darn kids actually expect to be fed and played with. Silly kids!

I have to say, my boys have taken things in stride. Little A was told upon arrival that we would not be setting up his crib and that it was time for a big boy bed. “OK” was his reply and he just rolled with it. Big A has figured out how to navigate the house better than I can. I still get lost. I finally unpacked their playroom the other day with the help of one of my girlfriends because I thought I might go insane if they didn’t have access to all their toys immediately.

We love the new house and our new yard. There’s so much room to play and run. Thanks to our recent temperatures here in the Dallas area, for now all we can do is stare longingly at our new pool and wait for warmer weather. Mr. Aggie and the boys have set up the new media room, also known as “the movie theatre” where we watch many a kid movie before bedtime.

It’s been three months since we moved in. Most of the boxes are gone now. I’m honestly contemplating just throwing away the ones that are left because, hey, if we haven’t needed it in the last three months, do we really need it at all? I mean, really? Think about it.

ss_prioritiesDon’t worry — you can be sure I unpacked the liquor cabinet first. Priorities, people …priorities.

By admin

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